Thursday, November 05, 2009

Some days I just feel tired of everything

This has been one of those days. I just can't find the energy to do anything, so I stay in bed as long as possible. Work is completely exhausting right now, and I'm fairly certain that my depression stems from exhaustion. I've been working way too much for the last three years, and I think I'm actually burnt out. I'm going to the councellor tomorrow (wish me luck! Those meetings tend to be somewhat draining, and I always come out looking like a tomatoe in the face from all the crying...), and I think I'm going to beg her to put me on sick-list (I don't know if this is the right word, I got it from an on-line encyclopedia). In Sweden, if you want to get payed while on sick-leave for longer than a week, you have to get a certificate from your doctor. I just feel that I would love to be able to NOT think about work all the time! As I'm still doing the PhD thing, I can't really leave my work at work when I go home, it's sort of always in the back of my head. My employment so far runs out at the end of march, and right now I'm so sick of it that I'm not sure I'll accept even if they offer me more work after that.

Anyhow, yesterday I was at a knitting café, and I met a new girl that I hadn't seen before. It turned out that she had the same education as me (It's called Medical Biology, a Master's degree), and we got to talking about education and work. Our education is a purely academical one, which is a draw-back when you're applying for jobs at routine labs. They prefer the Biomedical analysists (I don't know the english term, but this is the swedish name for the biomedical education that gives you a certified work title), and right now the routine jobs seem very appealing to me. I learned from my fellow student yesterday that Linköping university has started to offer this education, and if you've already got a degree in medical biology (as I do), you only have to do one year instead of three to get the certificate. So I'm actually thinking about going back to school next fall! I really thought I was done with all that, but I think I would really benefit from this education. The applications aren't due until april, so I have some time to think about this. It would mean giving up on any dreams of actually becoming a full PhD, but I'm getting more and more convinced that I don't want to work in research in the future anyhow. A regular 9-5 job would suit me just fine right now!

As far as the knitting goes, I'm plugging away at the lettuce coat, but I haven't gotten around to taking any photos yet. I had a request a while ago for a more recent photo of Hobbe, and I'm more than happy to apply. Here he is, the apple of my eye:

The first photo is a little more than a year old, and the second photo was taken this summer by a friend who visited for a few days, and I think Hobbe is very handsome, isn't he?

/ Jenny


Nalamienea said...

Hobbe is very handsome! :)

I'm sorry you're not feeling well and I'm glad that you're going to talk with someone about it. I'm also really happy to see that you have options. If you lived here in the US you wouldn't have any paid leave options. I hope you get a chance to take advantage of them. :)

kate said...

Oh, I'm so sorry you're not feeling well! It sucks, sucks, sucks when you're bummed...

I hope talking to someone helps you out. I'll be thinking positive thoughts, and sending them your way!

Hobbe is amazing, by the way. Those ears! i just want to snuggle him to bits!